The NASFT Winter Fancy Food Show wrapped up several weeks ago in San Francisco. (You weren’t aware of this? Shame, shame.) Although Feast did not attend this year, I feel obligated to share comedic food and beverage trends for 2011 announced at the show.
The Top Five Food Trends at the Winter Fancy Food Show (as per a carefully selected group of trend-spotters that none of us at Feast were asked to join) are as follows:
1) Chocolate for Breakfast: Tea, Belgian waffles, granola and hot chocolate on a stick. [Aren’t we all fat enough? Is there any reason to start eating chocolate earlier in the day? The idea of hot chocolate on a stick makes me absolutely giddy (and also a bit confused based on the laws of physics) but this trend crosses a line.]
2) Foods for Healing: Ancient healing teas, Blackwater with 77 minerals, aloe and cucumber drinks, plus micro-batches of healthful beverages. [A bit ironic given trend #1 endorses chocolate tea. What the heck is *Blackwater? Why would someone name a beverage after a shady private military company? Water should never be anything other than clear. I don’t want to drink aloe- not now, not ever.]
3) New Noodles: Yam, kelp, farro and spelt. [Ick, yuck, gross, no thanks.]
4) Heat with Flavor: Ghost peppers, yuzu-wasabi sauce and piquillo almond glop. [The ghost pepper is one of the world’s hottest chili peppers- roughly 401.5 times hotter than Tabasco sauce. Let’s set fire to our tongue and esophagus! Yippee! The formal definition of Glop, “noun, unappetizing food, esp. of a semi-liquid consistency.” Mmmmmm tasty.]
5) Creative Chips: pinto bean, naan, peas, mung beans, kale and wild rice. [Is there a potato famine that I’m unaware of? Is someone mad at the potato? Did he borrow DVDs from your house and never return them? I was pretty sure we had a good thing going with the potato, but apparently not.]
So there you have it, a plethora of underwhelming trends for 2011. Frankly, Feast has never been labeled as trendy…and perhaps that’s not a bad thing. I can promise the food selections at Feast will always be delicious. I’ll take delicious over trendy every day of the week.
*If I consume Blackwater will I too get wonderful “Jazz Hands” like the folks on their homepage? My wife has incredible “Jazz Hands” – might she be drinking Blackwater behind my back?